Tabbies to get a ten second head start

If some hunters in Wisconsin have their way, the state may soon declare on open season on "cute things."

"Around here, most everyone grows up shooting at cuddly rabbits and cute baby deer," explained Mark Smith, a Madison firefighter and hunting enthusiast. "After a while the shock value wears thin and you to move on to something even more adorable. That's why I proposed the hunting of cats."

Smith's idea will be placed before hunters on April 11 at the Wisconsin Conservation Congress spring hearings in each of the state's 72 counties. The Conservation Congress will then advise the Department of Natural Resources and the Legislature on whether the feline slaughter should proceed.

"Legislation would have to be passed," said Tim Andryk, an attorney with the DNR. "They'd have to amend the outdated laws that prevent animal abuse. It sounds crazy, but some people have a problem with that."

"The pro-cat kooks are crawling out of the woodwork," said Smith, referring to cat enthusiasts whose website, dontshootthecat.com, presents the opposing side of the issue. "Maybe they'd like it better if we opened the plan to other kinds of pets, like parakeets, hamsters, and dogs. Personally I'd love to organize a puppy hunt using some of those new domesticated foxes to track the dogs down. Not that we'd stop hunting foxes, but the irony is irresistible.

"Some of the guys are also looking into whether we might be able to introduce a population of Pokemon creatures into some of the state parks," Smith added, licking his lips. "I hear those pikachu things are goooooood eatin'."