Special Report: Dating in the Zeroes
Part One

For Part One of our space-filling series, "Dating in the Still-Unnamed Decade between the 90s and the 10s", we sent lifestyle reporter Maria san Guadeloupe-Klein undercover to a trendy South Beach nightclub.

After three hours in line, Maria gave up trying to bribe the bouncer to let her in, so we sent her instead to a fictional city based on Fargo, North Dakota, but also incorporating elements of Grand Forks, North Dakota; Minneapolis, Minnesota; Madison, Wisconsin; Charles City, Iowa; and Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

"People in the Midwest date?" Maria asked LWN Editorial Director Ed Dir, on the phone from her hotel room. "I was taught that Midwesterners emerged fully-formed from pods. I feel totally betrayed by my sociology professor."

"That's what you get for attending an online university," said Ed.

"Seriously, don't you think I'd get a better dating story in New York City?"

"Your health insurance doesn't cover STDs contracted on the job," Ed reminded her.

"All right then! Tell the pod people I'm on my way!"