Special Report: Dating in the Zeroes
Part Two

Part Two of our space-filling series, "Dating in the Still-Unnamed Decade between the 90s and the 10s", finds lifestyle reporter Maria san Guadeloupe-Klein in a small Midwestern town, conveniently located in another comic strip.

"Excuse me, young lady. I'm Maria san Guadeloupe-Klein, a reporter working secretly undercover for LWN. May I ask you a few questions?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Excellent! Please direct your answers into this microphone-sized flower on my lapel. Now, where might I find your city's local dating scene?"

"Hmm. That would depend on your tastes. What are you into?"

"I'm looking for a man of prime dating age, kindhearted, passionate about music, and perhaps with a pet iguana."

"Sorry, I can't really help you. I prefer bad-ass criminal types who will beat you up, take your money, and never call you again."

"Oh," said Maria. "That sounds stupid and dangerous...and yet, strangely compelling."

"Yeah, too bad all the best guys are already in jail."

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Disclaimer: The story above may be based on actual events, but in our editing room things tend to go horribly wrong. We may have altered a quotation or made up some facts, but it was all in the name of fun. LWN regrets the error.

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